A little about me And why I need to change.

ever since I hit key pre teen years (about 12 years old) I have alway been on the heavier end with weight. Teased constantly, with terrible names beening thrown at me. Even when I look back at high school I thought I was huge and kept being told this often, even by peers who were actually lager than me. 😳 After school I was still largish I hovered around a dress size 14-18, yoyoing and doing foolish dieting like the no food diet. Of course (insert sarcasm) that's how to do it, don't eat (just main meals so your mum thinks your ok) but once you start eating again you go straight back up. Anyway, I got to my biggest ever (90kgs) and was not happy, this is when I tried Weight Watchers for the first time with my friend I was renting with. That quickly ended, it was too confusing. Next it was Herb a Life. Now this worked for me at the being single and all as it cost a heck of a lot of money but only ate one real meal all day with meal replacements and vitamin pills, lots of pills, felt like I would rattle if you shook me. 😂 I lost 15kgs in 3 months, wow it was fantastic, quick, but fantastic. I then met and married my dh. Still far from happy with my weight I was about 80kgs (put on a bit when I stopped), I was then playing soccer which I think helped me not to gain too much back when I stopped HL. I rejoined back to WW, I lost 20kgs and was in my healthy weight range. I felt unreal, shopping was awesome and being able to just pick up pants off the shelf and know they will fit without trying them on, bloody brilliant. ⬅️ (If you have ever seen Harry Potter, you have to say this like Ron does😂😂😂😂😂). But my demons in my head got to me because of some apparently well meaning old ladies were asking if I was ok, 'you don't have cancer do you dear' you've lost too much weight, etc. So what happened I began to eat like the clappers and gained half of it back just before I was pregnant with my first child. So I lost most of my weight after Bub but started back at work where I found it all again because of poor food choices (we got feed heaps of free pizza) and just losing all control. Trying for a second child I quit work but soon found I was pregnant again but doc had me on a fairly strict eating plan as I was quite heavy when I fell pregnant again. This time only gaining baby weight I easily lost the majority of it and actually got to the fittest I had ever been, gym 3-4 times a week soccer training and the match. To cut an even longer story short, I ended up having postnatal depression (hindsight is great 😳), and pulled the weight on so much that my heaviest ever was 116kgs.